I'm not as useless as I thought

Kornelija Veiknyte
Illustration and Visual Media

The DPS year so far have been a real challenge for me. The first thing that I want to write about is how difficult it is to find a placement. I believe this has to do with many things like me not being prepared to showcase my work or having anxiety issues in general. The thing that I've realised while looking for placements is the demand of graphic designers is the biggest. I don't really know what I am as a creative yet as I still want to try out many techniques and methods of working and the fact that people look for creatives that already know who they are and what they're best at creates a barrier in my head which I know that doesn't make sense, but still limits my capability of even trying. The good thing that I got from all the pressure that I've probably put myself under is that I learned how to present myself better, even if I'm not completely sure of what I'm doing (also a huge thanks to the tutorials, I feel like I was completely lost before).

The beginning sounds horrible, but this has actually pushed me to look into ways of finding creative work that works best for my goals and what I want to achieve. I began looking into people that I can work for. I managed to get a few submissions and this was a big achievement for me who've never did anything outside of the university. I've also got into a few projects that Sarah introduced as and I don't feel as behind as before. I'm surprised of of how capable I'm to adapt and create work that doesn't necessarily match my course. I did things related to spatial design, design activism, printing, using new (for me at least) software and this makes me happy. The design industry is always shifting, improving and expanding and this means that there are space for everybody who are stubborn enough. 

I've also learned that I can make a lot of things that I used to dream of happen, I just need to look for it. Since last year I began getting interested in AI and computational art. I even wrote my thesis proposal about generative art, but honestly I didn't have much hope in writing it as I thought this year will change me and I won't get any experience in that field (very negative, I know). Quite the opposite happened as I applied for a workshop with Anna Ridler about GAN held by Creative Computing Institute of UAL. AND I GOT ACCEPTED! This is the most exciting thing that I have time for because I'm doing DPS. Researching AI and GAN in general made me realise how modern and technology driven the industry is and also made me realise what skills I want and need to get to make my ideas come true. 

I've always looked at design as a secret element behind everything. The ways that people express themselves keep on surprising me. Design is everywhere and the further humanity goes, the further it merges with our daily life in unexpected ways. Before DPS I had no trust in myself and what I am able to do. I had to push myself quite hard so that I wouldn't fail in general and that I wouldn't fail my own expectations. I'm sure that whatever you do doesn't have to match a certain description and even though there many people who stay in the comfort zone even in the design industry, I think the real joy and excitement comes when you do something that you've never even thought about trying. This just proves that challenges, failures and sometimes dissappointment all lead to a better you. 

There are always opportunities to learn, better yourself if you look and try hard enough. Even if you don't think so ( I didn't at least). Here's some stuff that I've been working on

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